Summer Camp for Future Entrepreneurs

by Bob London

Well, its mid-summer, which of course means, for those of us with little campers it’s already time to plunk down a deposit for next summer’s camping experience.  While researching camps, I came across one that specializes in nurturing budding entrepreneurs between the ages of 9 and 13.

My first reaction was: why would anyone want their kids to be exposed to the tribulations, sacrifices and pain of being an entrepreneur before they are emotionally ready? (On second thought, based on some of the entrepreneurs you read about, it’s not clear whether being a “grown up” is a major ingredient to success.)

My second concern is that kids would come home weak and pasty-faced from being in a classroom all summer when they should be experiencing the outdoor joys of the season.

Well we can all rest assured by reading these excerpts from the camp’s promotional materials, explaining how our beloved children will be provided with a supportive, positive, well-rounded summer experience, which includes programs such as:

Raising Cain to Raise Capital

How throwing a tantrum can get you a higher valuation.

Comparing Brain-Enhancing Supplements

Hands-on experiments to determine which cocktail—Red Bull & Prozac or Mountain Dew with a twist of Creatine—help you work better, faster and longer during those all-night board meeting prep sessions.

Investor Obstacle Course

You’ll jump through hoops and bend over backwards to address a wide array of brutally insightful objections from a gauntlet of toughest VCs and angels.

Note: Session is conducted on the banks of beautiful Lake Trump, so campers should bring their swim suits!

Scared Straight: An Exclusive Field Trip to a White Collar Prison

This brutal but informative prison tour, hosted by legendary corporate anti-heroes Bernie Ebbers, Dennis Kozlowski and Bernard Madoff, reminds entrepreneurs-to-be that white collar prison ain’t the country club you think it is. (Note: parental waiver required.)

Field Trip Travel Provided by MyFirstJet, the Official Fractional Jet Service of Budding Entrepreneurs.

“Selling to the Federal Government” with Jack Abramoff.

Hear from the unquestioned innovator and leader in selling products and services to the government—even if you don’t actually have a product or service.

Movie Night: Risky Business

Perhaps the ultimate inspirational entrepreneur’s tale in which a high school boy turns a seemingly insurmountable disaster into opportunity, a full scholarship to Princeton and a gorgeous older girlfriend.

Growth areas: Tech, Bio, Healthcare or Green?

Which is Your Fastest Path to a Gulfstream IV?

Campfire Keynote Address by Paris Hilton:

“How to Keep Your Name in the Press–Even if You Don’t Look Like Me.”  Sponsored by Inc. Magazine for Kids

Entrepreneurship: The Fairy Tale.

“In Business the Bad Guys Don’t Get Blown Up in the End, In Fact They Often End Up with the Biggest Yacht.”


Bob London is president of London, Ink LLC, a full-service marketing and communications firm and serves as a Virtual VP of Marketing for growth-stage companies that need hands-on project-based leadership in marketing strategy and planning. More information is available at http://www.londonink.com.

London, Ink signs 5-year, multi-million deal to sponsor Facebook “Captchas”

London, Ink (www.londonink.com), a Washington, DC-based marketing and communications consulting firm, today announced that it has reached a first-of-its-kind deal with Facebook to sponsor the social networking giant’s Captcha screens–the ubiquitous anti-spam feature that asks users to type in two random, odd-looking words before they can upload content or post links.

    London, Ink signs 5-year, multi-million dollar deal to sponsor Facebook Captchas

London, Ink signs 5-year, multi-million dollar deal to sponsor Facebook Captchas

Under the terms of the deal, Facebook’s Captcha screens will always present the word pairs ‘London’ and ‘Ink’ or ‘Bob’ and ‘London,’ which users must then enter to proceed with whatever online activity they’re pursuing.

London, Ink president Bob London described the deal as momentous–for both his firm and Facebook.  “We identified Captchas as one of the few ubiquitous things left on the web that were not available for sponsorships.  And Facebook was receptive since they are, of course, looking to grow revenue via any and all means.  So this was a match made in sponsorship heaven.”

Web security and privacy experts were a bit skeptical of the deal, citing security and privacy concerns.  “I hate to point out the obvious,” said Julia Pollan, executive director of the Front Against Innovative Online Features that Remotely Threaten Privacy, “but I think spammers are smart enough to program their spiders and bots to just enter the words ‘London’ and ‘Ink,” which I daresay defeats the whole purpose.”

When told of these security and privacy concerns, London, Ink’s Bob London said, “The marketing train has left the station.  Get over it.”

(NOTE: This is of course a parody–totally fictitious.)

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