You’ve probably seen or at least heard about the amazing deals you can get by subscribing to LivingSocial and Groupon, the daily discount sites that save big hunks of dough on restaurants, activities, weekend getaways and such. But some of the most unique deals don’t make it into the circadian emails due to a lack of broad appeal, or, in some cases, no appeal at all.
Below are some examples from LivingSocial’s and Groupon’s “cutting room floors.”
Beets Me! 88% off Tickets to 2011 World Borscht-Eating Competition
Got beetroot? Anyone of Eastern European heritage knows there’s nothing more exciting than witnessing the coronation of the new Borscht King (or Queen). This one-of-a-kind event features regional borscht-chugging champs from around the world, facing off to see who can ingest the most deep red soup in 10 minutes. Will anyone beet (sorry!) the record of 7.9 gallons set by returning winner Vitaly Pritzkoff? See for yourself!
Celebrate Earth Week with 2-for-1 Kayaking Through Shark-Infested Waters
Bungie-jumping is for sissies. Want a really adrenaline-curdling way to celebrate Earth Week? Try paddling a narrow plastic boat through a pool of water inhabited by hungry male bull sharks. You bring the testosterone and we’ll provide the chum to make sure these man-eating beasts are as threatening as possible. And don’t worry about safety: we’ll supply the life vests at no charge!
Sweatin’ for the Oldies: 31% Discount on Marathon 18-Hour Power Yoga Session for Senior Citizens
Know a shut-in or someone who’s in his or her golden years but needs a bit of encouragement to get out and about and get their blood going? Up Dog Yoga is offering the best reason ever to leave “the home”: An 18-hour power yoga session guaranteed to generate gallons of sweat. How can we be so sure? Because we lock the doors! Sessions led by yoga expert and former Guantanamo guard Matt (“The Waterboarder”) Mahindra.
Smooth Operator. BOGO Gift Pack of Neck and Bust Firming Cream
Wrinkly throat skin and bosom? No worries, happens to the best of you! Solve this nagging sagging problem for you and a friend with the special buy one get one free gift pack of New Wrinkle Neck and Bust Firming Cream. In just months you’ll notice a difference in the texture and number of your wrinkles and folds–usually for the better!
99% off of Mister Sparkle Car Wash (Offer Good Only During Heavy Precipitation)
See a sprinkle? Head to Sparkle! Mister Sparkle Car Wash, that is. Hey, you’re the unlucky sort. It rains right after you get your car washed–every time. So why not take matters into your own hands. Next time you’re in a torrential downpour, head to Mister Sparkle Car Wash and get 99% off of our Ultra-Shine Beautifying Wash and Wax with Undercoating (does not include special wheel washing treatment to remove brake dust).
Bob London is President of London, Ink, a marketing and communications consulting firm based in the Washington, DC area. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.