[HARO] Wednesday Morning Queries “Parody” Edition

[HARO] Tuesday Evening Queries “Self Parody” Edition

Quiz time! Are you aware that HARO has a waiting list for
advertisers? And that a favorite PR agency parlor game is to
multiply the number of annual HARO editions by the ad rate
to calculate how much money I, Peter Shankman, earn? And
that they then slap their foreheads and exclaim, “Why didn’t I
invent HARO?”?   Here’s why you didn’t invent HARO: Because
you aren’t me, Peter Shankman!  Now, here’s the next best thing
to being Peter Shankman: Buy my new book, “P.S. I love me.”
This book explains how I got to be me and shows you how you
can be me too!  Best of all, “P.S. I love me” is designed and
sponsored by SCOTTEVEST, so it has 13 pockets for all of your
tech gear! Special offer for HARROW readers:  Just enter the
promo code LUVME, and receive a 25% discount on any Vocus
service for one full month.

As we start move into what I like to call HARO, THE EARNOUT
YEARS, it’s a great time to remind you that, as promised, since
HARO was acquired by pr software giant, Vocus, Inc. nothing’s
changed at HARO.  Except the fact that we are contractually
obligated to same something nice about Vocus at least 2x/day.
Well, that’s life for the next 21 months.

Queries!
********* INDEX ***********

1) Looking for multi-racial families with gluten-allergies that practice
home schooling.

2) Consumers who have used home rhinoplasty or liposuction kits.

3) Have you ever looked up the value of a business contact’s house,
out of curiosity or jealousy?

4) Writing white paper about how to use white papers for marketing:
Got tips?

5) Who came up with curse words and where do jokes come from?

6) Couples using dual alarm clock: where you do put it so you can
both reach?

7) Looking for spokespeople who’ve slept with reporters that cover
their company.

8 ) Looking for reporters who’ve slept with the corporate spokespeople
they cover.

9) Need billionaire to interview for podcast targeting billionaires: do
you still clip coupons?

10) Looking for reporters who’ve used HARO–does this thing work?

11) Are you a raving fan of Vocus, the world leader in PR and social
media management services?

–This parody is meant with all due respect, admiration and love (the professional kind) to HARO, Peter Shankman and Vocus.  I’m a raving fan of all three.–

Bob London is President of London, Ink, a marketing and communications consulting firm based in the Washington, DC area. He can be reached at bob@londonink.com. His business humor writing, Bobservations, can be seen at http://www.bob-servations.com.

Twitters warns Palin and Kardashian of ‘delisting,’ citing inane tweets by pop star & reality icon/model; cuts character limits by 50% to 70.

Micro-blogging service halves vapid celebs’ character limits to 70.

Potomac, MD–May 21, 2010.  In an apparently unprecedented move that is already triggering outrage among free speech advocates, Twitter, the world’s leading micro-blogging service for self-absorbed early adopters, is planning to reduce the character limit for @SarahPalinUSA and @kimkardashian, two of its most active and famous users, by 50% to 70 characters, according to sources within Twitter’s customer care group.

Twitter also warned the pop star and the reality icon/model of a possible delisting from the service if they don’t make their tweets less vapid.

The source within Twitter, who asked that his @name not be used as the company does not comment on individual user accounts, went on to say, “Look, we have a responsibility to rein in the @inanity and @randomness wherever we can, and what better place to start than with the most visible random and inane users?”

Free speech experts see the random reduction of character limits as a dangerous precedent.  According to Pollo D’Barbosa of the Freedome to Tweet Foundation in Caracas, VZ,  “We acknowledge the stupidity of some of these tweets and the seeming uselessness of Twitter in general, but the power of free speech supersedes such superciliousness.”

Marketing and communications expert Bob London, president of marketing consulting firm London, Ink, speculated that the reduction in character limits would not impact the stars’ ability to connect with followers.  “If you’re the type of person who follows something that is inane and worthless to begin with, are you really going to notice if it is reduced by half?” said London.

Spokes-tweeters for @kimkardashian and @SarahPalinUSA declined to respond to Twitter DM’s for this story.

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