Date: September 6, 2016
From: Donald J. Trump
To: Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka Trump and Eric Trump
Subject: Our Plan is Succeeding Beyond Our Wildest Dreams
As you know when we kicked off this presidential campaign, we had no expectation or even intention of actually winning. The true purpose, which we have never publicly disclosed, was to get billions of dollars in free publicity for the Trump Brand and cultivate millions of new followers (i.e. potential customers), particularly among certain demographics, while inoculating our brand against certain other demographics whom we do not want as Trump customers.
I am extremely pleased to report that our plan is succeeding beyond our wildest expectations. Here are some examples:
First and foremost, thanks to CNN, MSNBC, Fox and other news outlets who have basically covered us nonstop for more than a year, we have achieved earned media valued at more that $1 billion (not a typo, folks).
In large part due to this free media, we now have more than 10.5 million followers on Facebook and 11.3 million on Twitter. These stratospheric numbers provide us with an incredibly valuable channel to promote fabulous Trump products.
Our database of Trump for President supporters (aka soon to be customers) now exceeds 15 million, all 18 years of age or older. These are people who are either in or soon entering their prime earning and spending years with lots of wants and needs to be served by terrific new Trump products. I’m particularly proud of the fact that 12 million of these names were scraped from the RNC database, so it cost us nothing—a big fat zero.
Through third party and internal polling and via our relationship with the RNC, we have also acquired over 6 terabytes (that’s a lot) of data on voter (aka consumer) demographics, behaviors and psychographics. Our team estimates that it would have cost us in excess of $200 million and more than 7 years to compile that data on our own.
Perhaps most importantly, by publicly castigating U.S. policies and problems (and in doing so receiving tens of millions of dollars in free PR), we have been able to identify and gain new insight into deep and widespread consumer “pain points” (healthcare, immigration, guns), which like any smart enterprise, we can and will exploit for commercial purposes. Think TrumpWall, TrumpCare, The Trump MAGAssault Rifle (stands for Make America Great), TrumpTV, etc.
I’d like to thank you all for your leadership and commitment and look forward to rolling out new Trump-branded products and services after the election.
Donald J. Trump
P.S. Please know that if we do win the election, we are working on a contingency plan for that as well.